I should write a book…

I should write a book …or a song (maybe) ‘possibly’ I will! Every week there are new surprises, new highs and new lows; new stories and new ideas. It is only Monday and already there have been some of these. This week I have decided I am going to write a book or maybe a song.

My book will be a story; a story about a girl we once knew and I will call her Grace. She will be clever,  funny, inspirational and beautiful and she will make a huge impact on anyone who reads about her. My song will tell the same story but much more musically and I wont be performing it because if anyone has heard me sing they wont want to go there again.

Today I heard a song. You draw from a song whatever you are feeling at the time and reflect it on the things that are going on in your life. A song that was supposed to be about a relationship suddenly becomes about how you feel. One line of that song or even just a word. Just not about the love story that it was intended to be about. It makes you cry for the wrong reasons but it might change the direction of your emotion just as you hear it. This song is mine today. I was in the car and it came on the radio. Of course I pulled over and waited to a safe place to use ‘shazam’ to identify it. The words were;

‘I don’t know if I can make it
But I’m gonna try, I’m gonna try
I don’t know if I can make it
But just watch me try, watch me try’

Oh  I will…

People are still saying you are so strong you are fantastic but we are still not those things. None of us are.  We are devastated we have lost our daughter and our fiancée our best friend our beautiful girl but we are carrying on. What we are doing is fighting to help people like her or you or us. We are not about starting anything new; we are leaving this with the experts. We are raising money to help them and hopefully along the way trying to stop the stigma surrounding mental health problems. Music is helping us with this.

There is a group of beautiful souls who were our daughter’s friends that have written songs about her and they are all amazing.

Music takes you back to a moment in time. I have always used music as ‘therapy’. Going back to a bad time in my life many years ago when I was in a toxic relationship a friend once gave me some advice. (We did not have ‘surround sound’ or teeny tiny Bluetooth speakers or even mobile phones at the time). His advice was to place the speakers facing each other and put my favourite record on the turntable (Yes those large black discs that turn around horizontally and are read by a needle) then turn up the volume with my head laid between the speakers. I did this and it really really helped. I can’t remember what my record of choice was at the time but it was circa 1992. I then remember songs such as ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s and ‘I can see clearly now’ and they remind me of being set free.

Music is good for the soul. Of course it is. Dory Previn wrote a song called ‘Twenty Mile Zone’  which involved screaming in her car and I used to do that too usually to very loud music…Any loud music would do but the faster the better! People can be that poison in your life and mind but music can help you resist the poison and walk away from them with your head held high. It can give you the shove you need in a positive way, it can inspire you and make you happy. It can make you feel comforted and safe. Music is magic…

Written by Anna Scott | 30.09.2018

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